I go back to work on Tuesday.
I thought this time it might be easier. Daycare has been sorted forever. He’ll be going with Bridget to a place we all love. And I’ve done it before. But I think it’s going to be harder. If I’m being honest, I felt a little relieved to go back to work the first time around. Getting Bridget to sleep at night was not easy for a very long time. And this child, oh how he sleeps! In his actual crib! If he happens to open his eyes when I lay him down, just a little pat on the back usually does the trick. It’s amazing. I’m sure it’s partially me, too, being able to try other things than just picking him up again and latching him on, but most of it is just the way he is. It’s amazing how huge a difference 6 or 8 hours of continuous sleep at night makes for a person such as myself. I’m 1,000% less frustrated than I was with my first go-round at motherhood.
This is not to say that everything is rainbows and unicorns. Of course it’s not. John cries while I’m trying to get something done, and Bridget suddenly really needs my attention, and it can get a little yell-y around here. But it’s not that frequent and I like to think that I’m getting better at handling it.
I’m really enjoying all of it, and I think I’m more myself now than I was three, or even two, years ago. Words just cannot express how good that actually feels. In fact, working might make all of that even better.
I think what I’m trying to say is that I feel like I am actually back. And it is pretty awesome.
And so is my little family.